You say respect matters to you. But when you think about the choices you've made this year, it's not clear that respect actually drives much. You wonder if it's something you genuinely prioritize or something you think you should value.
Who This Is For (and Who It Is Not)
This is for someone who suspects that respect is one of their true core values but wants to confirm it. You've noticed it showing up across different areas of your life—in how you treat people, in what you expect from others, in the relationships you keep. You're not looking for permission to value it. You're looking for clarity on whether it's actually central to who you are, or whether you've absorbed it as a cultural expectation.
This is also for someone who says they value respect but finds themselves acting in ways that contradict it. You say you respect others, yet you interrupt, dismiss, or fail to listen. You say you respect yourself, but you tolerate treatment you wouldn't accept from anyone else. The gap is bothering you. You want to understand whether that gap is real—whether respect isn't actually your value—or whether something else is competing with it.
This is not for someone who hasn't thought about respect at all, or who is doing fine without examining their values. And it's not for someone who thinks respect is overrated or doesn't belong in the mix. If you're already confident in what you value and why, you don't need this. If you're here by accident, that's fine. The work is optional.
What You Will Discover
Once you map your values properly, you'll see which values actually pull your attention and energy. Schwartz's framework, tested across more than 80 countries, identifies 10 basic value types that sit on a circle, with adjacent values supporting each other and opposite values creating tension. Respect—the value of understanding and appreciating the worth of others and yourself—sits adjacent to values like compassion and honest communication, and in tension with values like power or status-seeking. When you see respect in this structure, you'll understand why certain choices feel right or wrong. You'll see which other values you're genuinely following and which of your stated values are performing a role.
That clarity changes how you make decisions. Once you know whether respect is actually one of your top values or whether you're defaulting to it because you think you should, you can either stop apologizing for prioritizing something else, or you can take the gap seriously and figure out what's really stopping you from living it. Both of those are saner than pretending the question has already been answered.
Common Reasons People Wait
Some people hesitate because they think they already know the answer. You've been told you're a respectful person. Your friends describe you that way. You believe you should be. But knowing what others think or knowing what you should be is not the same as knowing what actually motivates you. The only way to know whether respect ranks at the top of your values or settles in the middle is to look at your actual choices. Waiting for certainty to arrive on its own doesn't work. You'll get it by examining yourself.
Others wait because they're afraid the answer is no. If respect isn't a core value for you, that feels like a failure. But respecting others is a baseline behavior you can practice regardless of whether it's core. What matters is knowing the truth about what's actually important to you and building your life around that instead of around what you think you should want. That's harder but cleaner.
Some people wait because they've tried being respectful before and it didn't stick. They think the problem is them. But the problem might be that they're trying to live a value that isn't truly theirs, or they're trying to live respect without understanding which of their other values supports it or competes with it. Schwartz's framework shows you those relationships. A person can live respect fully when they understand how it connects to what they actually care about.
Next Step
The My Values assessment surfaces your core values, ranks them, and shows you where you're living them and where you're not.
Can respect be a core value if I sometimes act disrespectfully?
Yes. Values are what you genuinely prioritize, not what you execute perfectly. Most people who value respect struggle with it in specific contexts—under stress, with certain people, or when another value (like honesty or autonomy) is pushing hard in the other direction. The assessment shows you those exact tensions so you can understand what's actually competing with respect in your life.
What if respect isn't one of my top values? Does that make me a bad person?
No. Schwartz's framework shows 10 universal value types because people genuinely prioritize different things. Some people's core values center on achievement, creativity, belonging, or security instead. Knowing your actual values—and acting on them—is healthier than living by values that aren't truly yours just because you think you should.
How is Schwartz's value theory different from other personality tests?
Schwartz's framework has been tested across more than 80 countries and replicated consistently, which is rare. It shows how values connect to each other—which ones support each other and which create real tension—rather than treating them as isolated traits. That structure matters because it explains why you might struggle to honor two values at once.
Is respect really important if nobody else seems to care?
Other people's values don't determine yours. Some people will never prioritize respect, and some will. If respect keeps showing up as something that bothers you when it's missing—in conversations, in how you're treated, in decisions you make—then it's real for you, regardless of what anyone else thinks.