You say independence matters to you. But somewhere in your actual life, you're working extra hours to stay in favor with a manager whose approval you need. You're holding back opinions because you don't want to rock the boat. You're not sure anymore where "I want this" ends and "I should want this" begins, and that confusion is the problem.
Who This Is For
This is for someone who has noticed a gap between the values they claim and the choices they actually make. You might describe yourself as independent, self-reliant, or autonomous, but you're noticing patterns where those descriptions don't match reality. You defer decisions to others. You apologize for wanting things. You stay in situations that compromise your freedom because something else — security, approval, loyalty to someone else — keeps pulling harder. You're not broken. You're just not clear about which value is actually running the show.
This is also for someone who suspects that "independence" might not be their primary value at all, and you're looking for permission to stop pretending it is. Maybe you actually value belonging more. Maybe security matters more than freedom. Maybe you want to contribute to something larger than yourself, and admitting that feels like weakness because you've been told independence is the thing to want. This work is for you.
This is not for someone who is certain about their values and looking for confirmation. This is not for someone who wants a quick fix or a label that will organize their life. This is not for someone who believes that knowing your values is enough, or that values clarification leads directly to life change. It doesn't. Clarity is the beginning, not the end.
What You Will Discover
Once you move through this process, you will know which values are actually competing for your attention right now. Schwartz's research across 80 countries identified 10 universal value types, and he mapped them on a circumplex structure showing which values sit next to each other in harmony and which ones sit in direct opposition. Independence, for example, sits in tension with conformity and tradition. If both are active in you, they create genuine conflict, not confusion. You'll see the architecture of that conflict clearly instead of just feeling stuck. You'll also see values you thought mattered little that are actually organizing your choices. Most people discover they've been loyal to a value they never named.
The practical outcome is this: you stop explaining away your choices as character flaws or circumstance, and you start recognizing them as preference. When you know a value is competing for weight in your system, you can choose consciously whether to honor it, suppress it, or find a way to integrate it. Right now, that integration is happening in the dark. You're choosing, but you don't know what you're choosing for.
Common Reasons People Wait
The first reason is that you think values work is narcissistic or self-indulgent. That you should just know what matters and stop analyzing it. This hesitation makes sense if you believe that clarity only serves the self. But the opposite is true. When you don't know what you value, you exhaust yourself trying to meet conflicting standards. You become resentful toward people whose needs contradict what you secretly want. You're not more selfless when you're unclear, you're just less honest. Knowing what you value does not make you more selfish. It makes you more reliable, because your choices stop being unconscious.
The second reason is that you believe if independence truly mattered to you, you would already be living it. The absence of evidence feels like evidence of absence. But this misunderstands how values work. A value can be genuinely important and still be suppressed or in conflict with another value operating at equal intensity. The research is clear on this. You don't fail to live your values because they are not truly yours. You fail because you are caught between competing commitments, and the one you haven't named is winning.
The third reason is that you're afraid the assessment will tell you something you don't want to know. That independence is not actually your value. That you value security more, or belonging, or tradition. That you've built an identity around something that was never true. This fear is real, and it's also the clearest sign that you're ready for this work. You're at the edge of actually knowing yourself instead of performing a version of yourself. That edge is uncomfortable. The assessment is honest. It will show you what's actually there.
The My Values assessment surfaces your values, ranks them by genuine importance to you, and shows you where you are living them and where you are not.
How do I know if independence is really my value or just something I think I should value?
Real values show up in your choices under pressure. When you have to sacrifice something, do you sacrifice freedom or do you hold it? When you have a difficult choice, does the independent option feel like relief or like loss? The assessment works by asking you to rank competing values against each other, which forces you to show your actual priorities instead of your idealized self. Your real values emerge from how you actually choose, not from how you think you should.
What if my values contradict each other?
They probably do, and that is not a problem to fix, it's information to use. Schwartz's research shows that values sit in a circle where adjacent values are compatible and opposite values are in tension. If you score high on both independence and conformity, you are not confused, you are caught between genuine competing pulls. Once you see that structure, you can choose which value takes priority in different situations instead of being jerked around unconsciously by both.
Can values change, or am I locked into whatever the assessment shows?
Values can shift across your lifespan, especially during major life transitions. What matters is knowing what is true for you right now. The assessment reflects your actual priorities at this moment, not a personality type you are stuck with forever. If you take it again in a year and something has changed, that tells you something important about what you are learning and what you are becoming.
If I take the assessment and find out I don't value independence, does that mean I've been living a lie?
It means you have been living someone else's definition of who you should be. That is different from living a lie, and it is also more fixable. Once you know what you actually value, you have the option to build a life around that instead of continuing to chase values that never felt earned.