You say empathy matters to you. But then you find yourself irritated by someone's emotional need, or you prioritize a deadline over listening, or you notice you only feel empathetic when you're not stressed or tired. You're wondering if empathy is actually one of your core values, or if it's just something you think you should care about.
Who This Is For
This is for someone who has felt a gap between the person they thought they were and the person they actually are. You've probably said "I'm an empathetic person" at some point, and then caught yourself behaving in a way that contradicts that. You're not looking for reassurance that you're secretly empathetic anyway. You want to know the truth about what you actually prioritize, even if the answer is uncomfortable.
You're also someone who understands that values are not static. You don't need an article that tells you empathy is always good or that you should feel bad for not prioritizing it. You want a framework that helps you see what's real about your own priorities right now, in this season of your life.
This is not for someone who is certain empathy is their core value and just wants confirmation. And it's not for someone still deciding whether empathy sounds nice — if you haven't felt the tension between what you claim to value and what you actually do, this assessment won't land the way it should.
What You Will Discover
Schwartz's research on basic human values, tested across 80+ countries since 1992, identified ten universal value types organized in a circular structure. What matters for you is this: values adjacent to each other in that circle are psychologically compatible, while values opposite each other create genuine tension. Empathy relates to universalism and benevolence—but it can conflict directly with values like achievement, power, or security, depending on who you are. Once you understand this structure, you stop thinking about values as a list you should agree with, and start seeing them as a map of actual tradeoffs.
You'll discover not just whether empathy ranks in your top values, but why it ranks where it does. You might find that you do prioritize empathy, but not as much as you thought. Or you might find that empathy is genuinely low on your list, which explains why you feel relief rather than guilt when you set a boundary that hurts someone. That clarity changes everything. You stop arguing with yourself about the person you think you should be, and you start making decisions from the person you actually are.
Common Reasons People Wait
The first reason is fear of the answer. You suspect empathy might not actually be in your top five, and you're not sure you want to confirm that. You think discovering it will make you feel like a bad person, or you worry it will make sense of things about yourself you'd rather not acknowledge. The truth is: knowing your actual values doesn't make you a worse person. It makes you honest. And honesty is the only ground from which real change happens. If you do find empathy is lower than you expected, that's information. It might mean you need to rebuild that capacity. It might mean you need to let go of a story about yourself that was never true. Either way, you're no worse off than you were when you didn't know.
The second reason is the belief that you already know your values. You think you've done enough self-reflection, or you've taken other assessments, so another one would be redundant. But most people overestimate how well they know themselves. You know your intentions and your ideals. You might not know your actual priorities under pressure, or how your values have shifted over time, or where the real tensions are between competing things you care about. This matters especially with empathy, because it's a value people claim regardless of whether they actually live it. You might be surprised by what the data shows.
The third reason is that empathy feels like a moral baseline. You think there's something wrong with questioning whether it matters to you, as if only bad people would rank it low. But empathy is one value among ten. Schwartz's research shows that people with high empathy and people with lower empathy both function well in the world—they just function differently and make different choices. Someone high in empathy might sacrifice their own needs constantly and end up resentful. Someone lower in empathy but higher in achievement or security might make clear decisions that serve themselves and their responsibilities. Neither is better. You're not deciding whether empathy is good. You're figuring out where it actually sits in your hierarchy, so you can stop pretending and start being intentional.
The My Values assessment surfaces your top values, ranks them, and shows you exactly where you are living them and where you are not.
What if I take the assessment and find out empathy is not one of my core values?
You'll have real information instead of a story. That means you can stop judging yourself for not feeling things you're apparently supposed to feel, and you can start making choices that actually fit who you are. It also means you know where your blind spots might be—you'll know that empathy-driven decisions don't come naturally to you, and you can build that awareness into how you lead, relate, or work.
Is empathy something I can change if I want to?
Core values are relatively stable, but they can shift over time with significant life changes or deliberate practice. If you discover empathy ranks lower than you want it to, you can absolutely develop it. But you'll do that more effectively if you're clear-eyed about where you're starting from. Pretending you're already highly empathetic actually makes change harder.
How does this relate to what I'm like in relationships or at work?
Your core values shape how you naturally show up. If empathy is high, you probably extend the benefit of the doubt and prioritize emotional connection. If it's lower, you might prioritize honesty, efficiency, or protecting boundaries instead. Neither pattern is bad—but it determines which situations bring out your strengths and which require you to be more intentional.
Can I take this assessment if I'm not sure I want to know the answer?
Yes. You don't have to act on what you learn right away. But if you're hesitating because you're afraid of what you'll find, that hesitation is probably worth examining. The person you think you should be and the person you actually are are only in conflict until you make them the same thing.